Dealing with the Stress of Losing Your Job

Losing a jobis about the most stressful event in a person’s life next to the death of a loved one or a divorce. For many people, it’s not just the stress of having to figure things out financially, but also the deep sense of loss you feel when something that’s 80% of your life is taken away. Your job seems to be a huge part of who you are, especially for Americans. We’re raised to believe that if we work hard, are loyal, and know what we’re doing, then we’ll get the rewards. But many times people are laid off for reasons beyond their control, and that is when we are left asking God, the Universe, our innermost selves, “what could I possibly have done to keep this from happening?”Recently I lost my job, and I can tell you that it’s a shock, it’s a blessing, and it’s more than anything a learning opportunity. We all know that somewhat worn out expression, that when God closes a door, he opens a window. Well, trite though it may seem when you’re in the throws of your despondency over losing a job, it’s still very much true. Losing a job can offer you an opportunity to find a better life for yourself in the form of spending more quality time with your children, a chance to re-train in another field, to take a chance on a business idea you’ve always wanted to try, and many more possibilities.

The underlying stress can be however, that we, who have been taught by our American capitalist culture, “we are our jobs”, can start out feeling very lost. The key thing to remember is you are NOT your job….you are the sum of so many other things that are more important than your job. If you look at the rest of your life, and the only thing that feels valuable is your job, then perhaps you need to re-examine your relationships, and the other parts of your life found wanting. A very helpful quote I found just recently which is profound is this,
“Your worth is not established by teaching or learning. Your worth is established by God. As long as you dispute this everything you do will be fearful, particularly any situation that lends itself to believe in superiority and inferiority…nothing you do or think or wish or make is necessary to establish your worth.” A Course in Miracles, ch 4 The Illusions of the Ego, p. 54

Even if you are not a religious person, you can learn to understand that the heart of who you are, your spirit, is not defined by the things you think, make, or do. Intrinsically, you are a worthy human being, with so much to offer the world, that is more than the sum of your work. If we can embrace this concept, then perhaps, we can start to let go of some of the stress we have over losing a job. The financial stress will still be there, but at least if you can let go of the emotional stress, it will free up your mind to develop better ideas and solutions for solving your financial challenges.

Personally, in the wake of losing my job, I am turning to my other dreams. I am stepping up my time frame for finishing my graduate coursework, I’m able to spend more time with my son, since I can take him out of child care, and I’m working on developing a consulting business, which will allow me to work from home, and be more flexible. Corporate America might have rejected me, but in the end, their rejection does not make me inferior, it just gives me a chance to grow, and realize my worth cannot be changed, no matter what happens. Realizing these truths can only help to relieve the stress of losing my job in the end, and I’m grateful for learning the lesson.