Each day we go through our day, sometimes on auto-pilot, living the life we have chosen, the life we feel locked into. Some of us may feel that we are in a prison without choices. That prison can be a bad relationship, a job that is stifling us, or in the prison of our own thoughts and depression. Do you sit there and think, “I could be doing something with my life. I could be following that dream I’ve had.”
The stress of the choices we make is one thing, but we often don’t consider the low
level, constant stress of the choices we are NOT making. Every time we look in the
mirror, we face the reality of our choices and where they have lead up to that moment.
Many of us don’t like what we see. Some of us are stuck in loveless marriages, others are
going day to day to jobs that make us feel less than human, working for companies that
are taking advantage of others that may conflict with our very values. In this economy, many of us feel trapped either in our lives, the circumstances of the jobs we have, or the fact that financially making a change just isn’t possible.
Are you asking yourself right now…why is this person depressing the hell out of me? Why is she asking these hard, dumb questions that remind me that I don’t have any choice?
I’m asking you because I want you to realize that the reality of your situation can be changed. But in order to change, you have to change your thinking about your situation. Yes, having a huge mortgage over your head does limit your career change choices or your ability perhaps to go back to school and do something different. If that’s the case, then you don’t own that house…that house owns you. You have to change how you view owning things and what’s important to you in order to be happier.
Maybe you are staying in a loveless relationship for the sake of your kids. The stress of the monotony, the sameness, the fact that maybe you’re dealing with a feeling of wanting to cheat, or perhaps you know your spouse has already cheated , but you both stay in the relationship because you have children. Think about what example you are setting for your children, an example of what you DON’T want them to have right in front of them their whole lives. Children know deep down what the truth is. I was a child of divorce where the parents waited until I was in college to divorce. They know what is going on, and in most cases in hind sight know it would have been better for everyone if the parents had separated sooner. So if the stress of a bad marriage or relationship haunts you, think about what the consequences are if you DON’T change. Are you ready to throw away 20 years of your life because you are living some ideal that doesn’t exist anymore?
What about the job that just makes the money? Maybe you believe that working is a means to an end, and you just need to make the money so you can spend the non-working parts of your life doing what you want. Think about it for a minute though. We work 1/3 of our daily hours living on the planet. Do you really want to spend 30% of your life doing something that leaves you listless? You may say, well the thing I want to do can’t make enough money to support my family. That may be true, but there are ways to add part time work to a part time passion like music or other artistic pursuit. In the end, your life will be more satisfying, and people who are satisfied are much more pleasant to be around. If you can do it, go back to school, retrain, follow your passion and try to find the thing that gives you a spark, that makes you value what you do.
Stress kills you. It causes diseases, weight gain, makes it impossible to lose weight, lowers your energy levels, contributes to worsening depression, anxiety, and other personality disorders. Can you really afford to keep contributing to your stress levels with something like the things you’re NOT doing? Seek the truth and it will set you free.
If you’re interested in facing reality and living as your true self, check out Loving What Is, by Byron Katie.
How many times has someone said tsktsktsk when you tell them you like a certain game on Facebook? You maybe sneak time here and there to play your favorite farm game or island game. Or maybe you love poker or you enjoy the fantasy of being a gangster? No matter what you choose, I’m sure you have two groups of friends…those who do and those who don’t. The friends who don’t might be saying things like, “I’m too busy to play those.” They might tell you it’s a waste of time, or that they just don’t get why people are so addicted to those games.
One of the themes of our site is finding stress relief through all different methods. For some these methods may mean “unplugging”, but for others it may mean “plugging in”. For many, after a hard day at work, there is a longing to escape the bonds of the earth and reality. Some may say they long to escape even the bonds of society. Games like Second Life provide the perfect opportunity for people to cut loose, be their real selves, and also be creative while exploring new worlds. In a world where we are often jaded and it feels like everything’s been done before, opening the door to a virtual world can make us feel like there are undiscovered territories still to be found.